I've been putting off writing this post for a couple of weeks, just because it seems so final. I've come to terms with the idea that Bennett isn't coming home, and my guilt that in many ways I'm okay with that. He was a problem cat, but he was my baby. Bennett had the big bad behaviors that made it difficult to be a cat owner, but otherwise I liked his personality on a daily basis. Min is a better behaved cat, but she tended to annoy me on a daily basis. So basically Bennett made it difficult to be a cat owner, and Min took the brunt of my irriation (which is not to say she didn't always deserve it - she's been a little bitch many times, and I have the scars to prove it). So I don't miss some of the realities of Bennett living here, but I do miss him in other ways, and I want him to be okay. I'm choosing to believe what I tell the Lovebug every day when she says, "Dindy talk about Bennett run away. Dindy talk!" (She likes me to monologue, and has a couple of favorite topics she makes me repeat at least daily - I can't wait for her baby brother to be born so we have a new topic!) Anyway, I tell her that he lives at someone else's house now. I know that the odds are high that something more unpleasant happened to him, but no good comes of thinking that way.
Min and I are getting along better than ever. Being annoyed with her has been second nature for a while, but in the aftermath of the fire I was much more patient with her, knowing how freaked out she must have been, and how her world was turned upside down (losing her buddy, being moved to a new apartment). I had to get used to having a cat sleep on my bed (the cats had been forbidden in my bedroom for a little over a year because of Bennett's iffy litter box habits) and at first she would try to wrestle with me every day around 3-4 am, or just want to be nose to nose with me. She's pretty much stopped that, thankfully. She's also snugglier - she used to want to be on my lap, but she would never just sit down and settle. She would knead her claws on me, be right in my face, and would be promptly kicked off my lap. Now she settles pretty quickly; for example, she's currently tucked under my arm as I type. I haven't seen any signs that she wants another kitty friend, which I'm thankful for, because I don't think I'm meant to be a perpetual cat owner.
Min and I are getting along better than ever. Being annoyed with her has been second nature for a while, but in the aftermath of the fire I was much more patient with her, knowing how freaked out she must have been, and how her world was turned upside down (losing her buddy, being moved to a new apartment). I had to get used to having a cat sleep on my bed (the cats had been forbidden in my bedroom for a little over a year because of Bennett's iffy litter box habits) and at first she would try to wrestle with me every day around 3-4 am, or just want to be nose to nose with me. She's pretty much stopped that, thankfully. She's also snugglier - she used to want to be on my lap, but she would never just sit down and settle. She would knead her claws on me, be right in my face, and would be promptly kicked off my lap. Now she settles pretty quickly; for example, she's currently tucked under my arm as I type. I haven't seen any signs that she wants another kitty friend, which I'm thankful for, because I don't think I'm meant to be a perpetual cat owner.
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